In the letter I will write ‘I have loved you wholeheartedly and without apology and that is why I am leaving. I am open and you are closed and I’d rather adore you and go, than hate you and stay. I hope you forgive me. I hope that everything feels soft against your hands. I hope the entire world says your name like it means it. There’s a heart where my lungs should be and I’ve been hiccuping your name in fits. This has to stop. I am giving you that piece of yourself back. I’ve left it on the kitchen counter. I hope that you love it as much as I did. May you be warm, may the light always touch you like you’re important. You are.’
People always say that it hurts at night
and apparently screaming into your pillow at 3am
is the romantic equivalent of being heartbroken.
it’s 9am on a tuesday morning
and you’re standing at the kitchen bench waiting for the toast to pop up
And the smell of dusty sunlight and earl gray tea makes you miss them so much
you don’t know what to do with your hands.
do i have a crush on you or am i just lonely
do i like you or do i like that you like medo I like you or do I like the idea of you
do i want to be in a relationship or do i just want to prove that i’m worthy of one
Getting over it doesn’t mean forgetting it, it just means reducing the pain to a tolerable level, a level that doesn’t destroy you.
The moon will never lie to anyone. Be like the moon. No one hates the moon or wants to kill it. The moon does not take antidepressants and never gets sent to prison. The moon never shot a guy in the face and ran away. The moon has been around a long time and has never tried to rip anyone off. The moon does not care who you want to touch or what color you are. The moon treats everyone the same. The moon never tries to get in on the guest list or use your name to impress others. Be like the moon. When others insult or belittle in an attempt to elevate themselves, the moon sits passively and watches, never lowering itself to anything that weak. The moon is beautiful and bright. It needs no makeup to look beautiful. The moon never shoves clouds out of its way so it can be seen. The moon needs not fame or money to be powerful. The moon never asks you to go to war to defend it. Be like the moon.
I think about you. But I don’t say it anymore.
Be with someone who you don’t have to hide from, in any way. Whether it’s your morning face before you’ve put any make up on, an embarrassing story about something that happened on your way home, or an ambition you’ve had since you were six years old… make sure you end up with someone who listens to and accepts all of it, and still loves you. A person you can tell your whole life to is a person worth spending a life with.
Don’t date a boy who doesn’t travel. He’s trapped in the safety of his routine habits. He doesn’t like to try new restaurants or order something he doesn’t know he already likes on the menu. He shuts down when you try to mix things up.
Don’t date a boy who doesn’t travel because when your favourite foreign band is in town he won’t want to go. He will listen to the same music his whole life and he will quote the same movies. He will think there is only one clear and sensible path to follow - that there is only one way to pursue a career.
Don’t date a boy who doesn’t travel. He will perceive your commitment to it and experiencing new things as a weakness and telltale sign that you are lost with no direction and no plan. He won’t understand that the plan is to travel, to really find yourself and your passions and then build a life around what brings you joy. What he doesn’t understand is that women are nesters by nature - and that at some point you will settle down to create a flourishing home life.
Don’t date a boy who doesn’t travel. He’ll think that it is his job to impress you when what you really want is someone who gets you - who will go on long walks through foreign cities, get lost with you only to find yourselves closer together. He will think that it is his responsibility to perform. But what you really want him to do is just let go - to turn off the rest of the world and be fantastically present in beautiful moments shared together.
Don’t date a boy who doesn’t travel. You’ll have to beg him to travel with you - explain to him why it makes sense to spend money on experiences rather than the latest gadgets and gizmos. You’ll have to coax him into getting off the beaten path or avoiding the cruise ships. You’ll have to endure that puzzled stare when he realises he has no idea how to be as brave as you.
i just want someone to debate about the goings on in the world with. is that too much to ask for?
Aren’t we all waiting to be read by someone, praying that they’ll tell us that we make sense
…no matter how many books we read, how many ally trainings we participate in, or how sharp an analysis of power we think we have, we can never totally know one another. We will never have a complete knowledge of how not to hurt another human being. We can have a million conversations but I will never know what it feels like to live inside your body and the meanings that are attached to it. You can never truly know what it feels like to live inside my body and the meanings that are attached to it. And if we can never truly know one another, how can we ever truly be good to one another?
The project of being good to one another is, ultimately, a failed project. But we must be good to one another we must try and fail and try again and fail again and try forever more. A performance of political perfection is always already a performance of failure. The so-called politically perfect performance has all the color and distance of José Muñoz’s queer utopian horizon. We are not yet queer, we are not yet liberated, and therefore, every single performance we enact, whether on stage or in the everyday, must strive for political perfection, must move ALL of us closer to liberation